It’s funny how you never truly appreciate “words of wisdom” until you are actually able to apply them. Then it’s like, all of a sudden, you realize why those words have been spoken.
One saying that I used to mull over in my head is “Nobody knows what’s in the soup but the spoon that stirs it.” I never understood it. But I had to admit that it made me curious.
And even after I acquired a general understanding, it didn’t mean much until I was able to apply it to my own life. Then it seemed to take on a whole new meaning. Different aspects of the saying seemed to evolve, and now it is definitely one of my favorite quotes… especially these days.
My very wise aunt introduced me to that quote, as well as to another one that is not so sophisticated, but it says a lot all on its own. If and when someone is upset, whether it’s at you or not, my aunt says, “Well, they have two jobs: to get mad, and to get glad!” That always sounded so silly to me. I always wondered How can someone just get glad after being mad? That makes no sense.
I know I haven’t blogged much since last year. But it really hasn’t been because I haven’t had much to say. It’s because I have internalized a lot. I let certain circumstances rule my judgments and my decisions. I let certain people bring me down. I have let their judgments and their perceptions inhibit my actions. And in doing so, I have denied myself happiness.
Now, more recently, I have pieced together several observations. All of a sudden, these pieces of an enormous puzzle have come together, and a sense of relief has developed. Those quotes, the ones my aunt has always told me, the ones I never understood, now make a whole LOT of sense.
One element that I think she was trying to teach me was resilience. We have to be resilient, especially when others attack us with words, with their judgments, with their self-righteous accusations… we have to be resilient. Not because strength is admirable. Not because it’s the mature thing to do. But because those attacks are not about us. Those attacks are about THEM. They have no idea what is going on in your life or your situation (the soup). Only you (the spoon) knows. Thus, they have no right to judge, and their words really do not matter. (Plus, the last time I checked only God has the right to judge, and as far as I’m concerned there is only ONE God.)
So, in saying “they have two jobs: to get mad and to get glad,” it is not to imply that changing moods is so easy. The true meaning is that you really should not take time to be bothered with whether other people are mad or glad. What they think and feel is what THEY think and feel. That is beyond your control, and you should not let it affect you. Let them get mad… and let them get glad… (and my little addition: Let them get over it. ;-)
Life goes on, and it’s time to be happy.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
True Love (originally titled "Doin' it MY way")
Every year at this time, thoughts of love permeate our world. But usually it is the kind of love that is characterized by physical passion, emotional commitment, heartfelt romance, tender kisses, long embraces, fragrant flowers, heart-shaped chocolates… all that good stuff. And it is true that love can involve all of this. But not all loves are the same.
Some relationships are difficult. They involve a love that is hindered by obstacles, dishonesty, denial, infidelity, lack of commitment… yet even so, these relationships can still withstand the test of time. When a decision is made to overcome these barriers and commit to making things happen, this type of love can be just as great as any other.
I’ve known love like this. For years, I have been in denial about the one I love. I was scared and sometimes even ashamed to admit to loving the one I did. Other times, I endured doubt or criticism from others as well as myself. After a while, the doubt made me stray. I tried to find other loves that might work better or that might please other people. It’s taken years for me to realize that the only one I need to please is myself.
I’ve decided that being dishonest with myself and with others has not proven wise or beneficial. And believe it or not, betraying the one I love has proven more hurtful to me than anyone else. Having to go through life wishing and hoping that things could have worked out the first time or that I wouldn’t have been seduced by others that promised me money or other material things has really eaten away at my spirit. For years it has made me truly sad.
This year, I am happy to say that a former love and I have a chance to be reunited. It has always been a rocky relationship. Over the years, I have had trouble committing, and quite honestly, I have to admit that I have strayed many times along the way. Yet my love has always been there, waiting for me to come back, never asking questions when I would occasionally find time to devote to our relationship in some way or another.
No one knows the real reason I did what I did. It would be too long of a story to go into. What’s important, though, is that I’ve finally realized the error of my ways. I’ve finally come to a point where I’m willing to do what it takes to make things work. I’m willing to make the time and the effort to cultivate this love and make it what it was truly meant to be in the first place.
I’ve realized that it’s not too late. We should never tell ourselves that it’s too late or that there is no hope. Because there is. There always will be.
Who is this love, you may ask? Well, actually, it’s not a “who,” but a “what”. As a matter of fact, most of you already know a part of it. It is my love of writing, or in this case, the STUDY of writing, and literature, and all that that implies. ;-)
That’s right. I’ve decided to go back to school to study what I want to this time. The first time around I was influenced and pushed into a direction that I never really truly wanted to go. I ended up with a Master’s degree in School Administration. Bleh!
But this time, I’m doin’ it MY way.
I have decided to apply to the M.A. program in English at UTSA. If all goes well, hopefully, I can get admitted for the summer. If not, then maybe the fall. And if things continue to go well after that, then hopefully, in the fall of 2011, I will be starting the doctoral program in Latino literature.
My love and I have been separated for way too long. But, alas, finally there is hope that we can be together once again. Only this time, it will be for keeps.
Wish me luck, y’all!
Some relationships are difficult. They involve a love that is hindered by obstacles, dishonesty, denial, infidelity, lack of commitment… yet even so, these relationships can still withstand the test of time. When a decision is made to overcome these barriers and commit to making things happen, this type of love can be just as great as any other.
I’ve known love like this. For years, I have been in denial about the one I love. I was scared and sometimes even ashamed to admit to loving the one I did. Other times, I endured doubt or criticism from others as well as myself. After a while, the doubt made me stray. I tried to find other loves that might work better or that might please other people. It’s taken years for me to realize that the only one I need to please is myself.
I’ve decided that being dishonest with myself and with others has not proven wise or beneficial. And believe it or not, betraying the one I love has proven more hurtful to me than anyone else. Having to go through life wishing and hoping that things could have worked out the first time or that I wouldn’t have been seduced by others that promised me money or other material things has really eaten away at my spirit. For years it has made me truly sad.
This year, I am happy to say that a former love and I have a chance to be reunited. It has always been a rocky relationship. Over the years, I have had trouble committing, and quite honestly, I have to admit that I have strayed many times along the way. Yet my love has always been there, waiting for me to come back, never asking questions when I would occasionally find time to devote to our relationship in some way or another.
No one knows the real reason I did what I did. It would be too long of a story to go into. What’s important, though, is that I’ve finally realized the error of my ways. I’ve finally come to a point where I’m willing to do what it takes to make things work. I’m willing to make the time and the effort to cultivate this love and make it what it was truly meant to be in the first place.
I’ve realized that it’s not too late. We should never tell ourselves that it’s too late or that there is no hope. Because there is. There always will be.
Who is this love, you may ask? Well, actually, it’s not a “who,” but a “what”. As a matter of fact, most of you already know a part of it. It is my love of writing, or in this case, the STUDY of writing, and literature, and all that that implies. ;-)
That’s right. I’ve decided to go back to school to study what I want to this time. The first time around I was influenced and pushed into a direction that I never really truly wanted to go. I ended up with a Master’s degree in School Administration. Bleh!
But this time, I’m doin’ it MY way.
I have decided to apply to the M.A. program in English at UTSA. If all goes well, hopefully, I can get admitted for the summer. If not, then maybe the fall. And if things continue to go well after that, then hopefully, in the fall of 2011, I will be starting the doctoral program in Latino literature.
My love and I have been separated for way too long. But, alas, finally there is hope that we can be together once again. Only this time, it will be for keeps.
Wish me luck, y’all!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
O-blog-atory... part 2
Oh my goodness, where has the time gone?
I know that I made a vow to blog regularly again, but I guess I completely forgot to set a deadline by which to get this done every week. Darn!
In my defense though, I can honestly say that I had no time to blog the last week and a half (two weeks) anyway because my last day off was actually the last day I blogged. So there. Today was the first day I had off in the last two weeks (I think). The days seem to run together so much sometimes that I can’t remember sometimes… If I recall correctly, the only day I had off last week was only a partial day. So, it didn’t really count as a day off.
So, the last two weeks have been pretty uneventful. I’ve just been working every night, sleeping every day. And somewhere in there, I have found time to eat… go grocery shopping, do laundry, get my car inspected, and start a new skin care regimen.
It seems that in my older years, I have started to develop fine lines and wrinkles. So, I decided to start using Oil of Olay about two weeks ago. I now realize that Oil of Olay makes me break out. Ugh. BUT I will say that I have begun to see it’s immediate effects on the fine lines. So, now I am torn. Which is the worse of two evils? And if any of you feel compelled to recommend ProActive, let me just tell you that that makes me break out in the most HORRIBLE way. Oh my gosh!
But I digress… let us not dwell on my skin woes… life is too short…
The reason I have been working every day for the past two weeks is so that I could have an entire week off. I had to balance out my work hours.
On my first day off, I decided to do nothing that would require me to leave the house. That is reserved for tomorrow. So, today I turned down three dinner invitations and a potential blind date so that I could sit at home all day in my pajamas and watch TV. It really was a much-needed day off. It is the end of the evening, and I am finally starting to feel rested.
Earlier in the evening, I decided to cook dinner, and for the first time in what seems like forever, the Mexican rice I made actually came out good. Not crunchy at all this time.
And since I had no time to make pumpkin bread over the holidays (the way I wanted to), I finally made some today. Only this time, I decided to cut out more sugar than I usually do. It seems that this sugar phobia of mine is getting a bit out of hand. Instead of 3 cups of sugar, I only added one and a half cups. It didn’t really come out bad… but I started thinking that that butter-cream frosting recipe from that cake decorating class might come in handy in times like these. Thank goodness for whipped cream! I just put some heaping dollops of that on my serving of bread, and voila! Instant yummy-ness!
Of course, all this food was just a healthy reminder that I really should be working out regularly. I intended to start last week, but that didn’t happen. You know, I’ve read that if you want to start working out that you should get a workout buddy. A workout buddy is supposed to hold you accountable and make sure you set goals and reach them. My workout buddy seems to have disappeared on me though. But that’s a different story.
I also decided to try and update my myspace profile again… talk about a pain…
The last productive thing I finally did this evening was try to clean out my e-mail inbox. Am I the only one who has trouble getting this done? I had over 300 unread e-mails. I think I am just going to create a new e-mail address…
And that’s my blog for this evening… gotta get ready for tomorrow… I have plans to leave the house and run around town the next few days…(you can read about all that next week—if I don’t get the urge to share sooner…)
Not to mention I also have some other writing to get done… the kind that doesn’t get posted here… this was just to keep y’all updated, and to hold myself accountable…
Talk to y’all later…
Thanks for reading…
I know that I made a vow to blog regularly again, but I guess I completely forgot to set a deadline by which to get this done every week. Darn!
In my defense though, I can honestly say that I had no time to blog the last week and a half (two weeks) anyway because my last day off was actually the last day I blogged. So there. Today was the first day I had off in the last two weeks (I think). The days seem to run together so much sometimes that I can’t remember sometimes… If I recall correctly, the only day I had off last week was only a partial day. So, it didn’t really count as a day off.
So, the last two weeks have been pretty uneventful. I’ve just been working every night, sleeping every day. And somewhere in there, I have found time to eat… go grocery shopping, do laundry, get my car inspected, and start a new skin care regimen.
It seems that in my older years, I have started to develop fine lines and wrinkles. So, I decided to start using Oil of Olay about two weeks ago. I now realize that Oil of Olay makes me break out. Ugh. BUT I will say that I have begun to see it’s immediate effects on the fine lines. So, now I am torn. Which is the worse of two evils? And if any of you feel compelled to recommend ProActive, let me just tell you that that makes me break out in the most HORRIBLE way. Oh my gosh!
But I digress… let us not dwell on my skin woes… life is too short…
The reason I have been working every day for the past two weeks is so that I could have an entire week off. I had to balance out my work hours.
On my first day off, I decided to do nothing that would require me to leave the house. That is reserved for tomorrow. So, today I turned down three dinner invitations and a potential blind date so that I could sit at home all day in my pajamas and watch TV. It really was a much-needed day off. It is the end of the evening, and I am finally starting to feel rested.
Earlier in the evening, I decided to cook dinner, and for the first time in what seems like forever, the Mexican rice I made actually came out good. Not crunchy at all this time.
And since I had no time to make pumpkin bread over the holidays (the way I wanted to), I finally made some today. Only this time, I decided to cut out more sugar than I usually do. It seems that this sugar phobia of mine is getting a bit out of hand. Instead of 3 cups of sugar, I only added one and a half cups. It didn’t really come out bad… but I started thinking that that butter-cream frosting recipe from that cake decorating class might come in handy in times like these. Thank goodness for whipped cream! I just put some heaping dollops of that on my serving of bread, and voila! Instant yummy-ness!
Of course, all this food was just a healthy reminder that I really should be working out regularly. I intended to start last week, but that didn’t happen. You know, I’ve read that if you want to start working out that you should get a workout buddy. A workout buddy is supposed to hold you accountable and make sure you set goals and reach them. My workout buddy seems to have disappeared on me though. But that’s a different story.
I also decided to try and update my myspace profile again… talk about a pain…
The last productive thing I finally did this evening was try to clean out my e-mail inbox. Am I the only one who has trouble getting this done? I had over 300 unread e-mails. I think I am just going to create a new e-mail address…
And that’s my blog for this evening… gotta get ready for tomorrow… I have plans to leave the house and run around town the next few days…(you can read about all that next week—if I don’t get the urge to share sooner…)
Not to mention I also have some other writing to get done… the kind that doesn’t get posted here… this was just to keep y’all updated, and to hold myself accountable…
Talk to y’all later…
Thanks for reading…
Thursday, January 22, 2009
A little later, Cupcake! (originally written on January 21, 2009)
So the new year started, and I got it in my head that I should do some of those things that I’ve always wanted to do, but never got around to doing.
So, in addition to checking out online writing courses (it seems that’s all my schedule will allow for), I also remembered my perpetual fascination with cake decorating, and I called Michael’s to see if they had any classes I might enroll in.
Fortunately, there was a class that was due to start the following week (which was two weeks ago), and it was “on sale” for half off! Because I had to rush to work, I handed my mom $20 and asked if she might be able to go by and register me before all the spaces were taken up. Then I eagerly awaited the following week.
Of course, I was a bit late to the first class. I can’t remember why… but I was. But by that time, I had spread the news to my cousin who ended up enrolling in the class with me. So, she was kind enough to fill me in on what was going on when I got there.
I walked into a small room in the back of Michael’s where everyone was sitting at a table listening to the instructor go through the supply book and letting everyone know what they might or might not need to purchase to complete the course. After pointing out each item, she would give a brief description of what it was for and why we may choose to purchase it or not. Some of the stuff I understood. A lot of the stuff left me confused. This lady obviously had the strange notion that people in this class knew what the heck we were doing…
I sat there wondering why we weren’t just frosting cakes.
Then she pointed out that she had a cake that she would be demonstrating with a little later.
I remembered that I hadn’t eaten, and the cake started to look really good.
Then I wondered why it had to have frosting. As far as I’m concerned, cake tastes really good all by itself. I never have been a big fan of actually EATING frosting. I just have this intense desire to learn how to decorate with it.
The class continued.
She told some funny stories about how past students had misinterpreted her instructions and goofed things up. She even mentioned that one lady kept bringing pancakes to class instead of actual cakes… because she misunderstood when the instructor told them to bring a “pan” cake to each class. I figured that maybe that meant there was hope for me yet, even though I was confused about the type of shortening we were supposed to use.
Part of the “lesson” that first evening was watching the instructor actually mix up several batches of icing at different consistencies. It required some type of shortening, which she kept stressing was NOT lard. Yet to me, it looked a lot like it was, and if you sent me to the store to buy some, that’s probably what I’d end up coming back with.
By this time, I was bored. Plus, I was starving.
I thought we were supposed to decorate cakes. Yet here she was telling us that we had to bake them first! Ugh. And she expected us to make our own icing and bring it to class the following week. We had to make the three different consistencies and label them and have them ready. And while I actually have a label maker that I got for my last birthday, I really didn’t know that I wanted to go to all that trouble, especially since it wasn’t even a kind of icing that I liked. It was the gross kind that has tons of sugar in it and gives me neurotic thoughts about developing diabetes. And when I asked if we could reduce the amount of sugar in the recipe, she told me no! I really did not like that.
Needless to say, I intended to go back… I really did, but I just don’t think I’m ready for all that just yet. I really just wanted to decorate cakes for friends’ parties. I just wanted to make cute cupcakes that I found in this awesome cupcake book.
It’s a really cool book I found at Wal-Mart. It has really creative ideas. I just wanted to have some fun.
I’m just really not in the mood to figure out HOW to make frosting at this time. And I’m not in the mood to bake that many cakes. I can only focus on one thing at a time. Maybe in a few months, now that I know what the course really entails, I will be more prepared… mentally and financially…
Right now, I think I am just going to check out some more of those online writing courses…
So, in addition to checking out online writing courses (it seems that’s all my schedule will allow for), I also remembered my perpetual fascination with cake decorating, and I called Michael’s to see if they had any classes I might enroll in.
Fortunately, there was a class that was due to start the following week (which was two weeks ago), and it was “on sale” for half off! Because I had to rush to work, I handed my mom $20 and asked if she might be able to go by and register me before all the spaces were taken up. Then I eagerly awaited the following week.
Of course, I was a bit late to the first class. I can’t remember why… but I was. But by that time, I had spread the news to my cousin who ended up enrolling in the class with me. So, she was kind enough to fill me in on what was going on when I got there.
I walked into a small room in the back of Michael’s where everyone was sitting at a table listening to the instructor go through the supply book and letting everyone know what they might or might not need to purchase to complete the course. After pointing out each item, she would give a brief description of what it was for and why we may choose to purchase it or not. Some of the stuff I understood. A lot of the stuff left me confused. This lady obviously had the strange notion that people in this class knew what the heck we were doing…
I sat there wondering why we weren’t just frosting cakes.
Then she pointed out that she had a cake that she would be demonstrating with a little later.
I remembered that I hadn’t eaten, and the cake started to look really good.
Then I wondered why it had to have frosting. As far as I’m concerned, cake tastes really good all by itself. I never have been a big fan of actually EATING frosting. I just have this intense desire to learn how to decorate with it.
The class continued.
She told some funny stories about how past students had misinterpreted her instructions and goofed things up. She even mentioned that one lady kept bringing pancakes to class instead of actual cakes… because she misunderstood when the instructor told them to bring a “pan” cake to each class. I figured that maybe that meant there was hope for me yet, even though I was confused about the type of shortening we were supposed to use.
Part of the “lesson” that first evening was watching the instructor actually mix up several batches of icing at different consistencies. It required some type of shortening, which she kept stressing was NOT lard. Yet to me, it looked a lot like it was, and if you sent me to the store to buy some, that’s probably what I’d end up coming back with.
By this time, I was bored. Plus, I was starving.
I thought we were supposed to decorate cakes. Yet here she was telling us that we had to bake them first! Ugh. And she expected us to make our own icing and bring it to class the following week. We had to make the three different consistencies and label them and have them ready. And while I actually have a label maker that I got for my last birthday, I really didn’t know that I wanted to go to all that trouble, especially since it wasn’t even a kind of icing that I liked. It was the gross kind that has tons of sugar in it and gives me neurotic thoughts about developing diabetes. And when I asked if we could reduce the amount of sugar in the recipe, she told me no! I really did not like that.
Needless to say, I intended to go back… I really did, but I just don’t think I’m ready for all that just yet. I really just wanted to decorate cakes for friends’ parties. I just wanted to make cute cupcakes that I found in this awesome cupcake book.
It’s a really cool book I found at Wal-Mart. It has really creative ideas. I just wanted to have some fun.
I’m just really not in the mood to figure out HOW to make frosting at this time. And I’m not in the mood to bake that many cakes. I can only focus on one thing at a time. Maybe in a few months, now that I know what the course really entails, I will be more prepared… mentally and financially…
Right now, I think I am just going to check out some more of those online writing courses…
O-blog-atory (originally written on January 19, 2009
Way back in the beginning of my blog, I decided I was going to post an entry once a week. It was supposed to be my writing practice. And things went well for a while…
But then something happened. Actually, lots of things happened. And there has been pretty much no more “regular” blog writing for quite some time.
I won’t go into explanations as to why… then again, maybe I will… just not right now… not tonight…
There HAS been writing though. Just not the kind I feel like sharing… But the thing is if I don’t share, then I don’t continue writing. It becomes more sporadic… and the “voices” don’t talk as much (or at all) when I don’t take time to listen to them…
So, thanks to those who have encouraged me to continue and who have even offered ideas…
This is just to let y’all know that, in the spirit of the new year and new beginnings, I feel obligated to resume the efforts I once began…
Thanks in advance for all your support… =)
But then something happened. Actually, lots of things happened. And there has been pretty much no more “regular” blog writing for quite some time.
I won’t go into explanations as to why… then again, maybe I will… just not right now… not tonight…
There HAS been writing though. Just not the kind I feel like sharing… But the thing is if I don’t share, then I don’t continue writing. It becomes more sporadic… and the “voices” don’t talk as much (or at all) when I don’t take time to listen to them…
So, thanks to those who have encouraged me to continue and who have even offered ideas…
This is just to let y’all know that, in the spirit of the new year and new beginnings, I feel obligated to resume the efforts I once began…
Thanks in advance for all your support… =)
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